PUKE, VOMIT, BARF...JUST THROW UP

I think Jack may have posted about a search warrant I ran and the house was so dirty and smelly that Jack actually puked on the floor of the bedroom.

It wasn't his fault, the house was full of animals and they had crapped all over the place. You can't imagine the smell and I couldn't describe it even if I tried.

I can't remember the order of our entry but Jack and I were among the first to enter. The living room and the kitchen were joined together and one bedroom was to the right and a hallway to the other bedroom and bath to the left.

Jack went right, I went left, the first room I saw was the bedroom and it was clear. The bathroom door was closed and as I opened it, the smell almost took me to my knees. A dirty stinking cat had been put in there and the litter box was overflowing with cat feces. The cat, being tired of having to shit in the box was now shitting all over the floor and was sleeping in the sink to escape the many piles.

At this point I needed to get out as soon as possible, as I was starting to dry heave. As I quickly went past the bedroom where Jack was, I heard the unmistakable sound of someone hurling and the pleasant sound of stomach fluid splashing onto the floor.

Now by no means am I poking fun at Jack, I myself was only a few seconds away from joining the stomach fluid hurling contest. Luck be on my side, I made it outside and the fresh air was enough to save me.

Long story short, Mom and Dad go to jail, CPS takes the baby who was later released to the Grandparents.

Now...The other day we run a warrant and Jack was not feeling so well (he should have stayed home). But being a team player, he comes in to help and the warrant went smooth. We are wrapping things up and Jack sits down on the bed. He's looking down at the floor and asked, "If I puke right here on the floor, do I have to clean it up?" The whole time he is asking, he has those little hiccups that you get before barfing. I leave the room.

As I'm going through the kitchen he walks past me, very quickly. The bathroom door slams shut and then you hear the cough and then the unmistakable sound once again.

The crook is sitting on the couch handcuffed and hears the noise and says, "that's just not right, you guys need to cut me some slack, man...that's just not right." Mitch walks over to the bathroom door and asked Jack if he needed anything and before he could answer the crook says,

"Yea, he needs a wash rag and a toof brush"

Sorry it took so long. It seems my life got in the way of writing. I'm gonna try to write about twice a month or so. Thanks to all of you for waiting me out.

Blade Out!