Big Sexy Patrolman / Fisherman

June 28, 2006

What ever happened to Big Sexy? I know there is a Big Sexy fan base out there, so I thought I'd give you the latest. Before the original Narc Unit shut down Big Sexy cut his loses and went back to his parent agency.

He was placed in Criminal Investigations and was doing a bang up job. However, the pay cut we all took was hurting him as much as the rest of us and so he applied at the agency I work for. Now if you been reading you know he had worked at this agency before, so they knew what they were getting, however they hired him anyway.

Big Sexy is back in a uniform and cleaning up the streets, he happens to be one of the best street cops I know. So here's to Big Sexy, good luck and be careful out there.

Now to more important things, this past week I took a vacation, a much needed vacation. Went to the Gulf Coast to let the kids play and do a little fishing. Big Sexy and his wife were also going and so we set out on Friday.

I'm gonna skip the part about me getting sunburned and playing on the beach and getting drunk and all that boring stuff and go to the part where Big Sexy and myself took my boy fishing (wade fishing). Boy was a little scared to get in the water, as Big Sexy's wife had gotten stung by a jelly fish the day before. However he got in the water and on the first cast brought in a really nice Red Fish, however it was just a little too small to keep.

Then he saw a jelly fish and from then on he and I were fishing from the bank, I was doing the casting. Big Sexy was telling him there was nothing to worry about and that the jelly fish was gone and then the jelly fish said, "no I'm not" as it stung Big Sexy on the leg.

Boy out fished us that day by catching 2 Red Fish, 2 Piggy Perch and a Snapper. But that wasn't the end for Big Sexy and I, we couldn't be out fished by a six year old, could we? That night we went to a spot (which I won't give up) and caught a little over 100 Trout and 5 Red fish. We fished from about 7:30 pm until 5:00 am. Some of the best fishing I've ever done. And seeing as all of that was so hard and fun, I'm taking more vacation for the 4th of July. See ya'll later.

Puke; There Are Things I Hate About This Job

You've heard Jack and I talk about digging trash, not one of the most glamorous parts of the job. However, it needs to be done. So with one of the rookies in tow, we go and take someone's trash. We take it back to our agency and prepare to dig through it. Granted, I came to work this day not feeling to good. I was running a fever, my head was splitting and I felt like I could puke at any moment.

Back to the story, I explained to Homer (the rookie) how to go about taking the trash, we get it done without a hitch. We then go back to the agency, go around back where the trash dumpster are and I explain what we're looking for and how to go about picking through the trash. Not feeling so well, Homer is doing most of the picking, not all, but most.

Then as I'm going through part I find a large amount of dog feces, not dry and old but moist and fresh. If the overwhelming odor of dog crap doesn't do it, the odor of rotten meat did. The two rotten odors fill my nose with the most horrible smell that seems to go straight to my stomach. This tells my stomach, "hey, that smells like shit and rotten meat. We should get that out of here immediately." Which it does, as I hurl in front of the rookie, who just heard me say before we got started, "I've never puked digging trash, come close but never have."

I'm glad the rookies have someone to look up to. There are things about this job I most certainly hate.

Part II, Just When Things Were Getting Smooth

As you know, I had to go back to patrol. I put on the old uniform and was out doing what I do best, messin' with the peeps. I was really starting to enjoy myself, traffic stops, serving warrants, and making the hot calls. Then out of the blue I was asked to put in for the new narcotics position.

With the fall of the Narc Unit Jack and I were in, the locals realized that they were gonna need some sort of narcotic enforcement. My agency decided to make a small narcotic division, all who wanted to put in for this position needed to put in a letter of intent. I had no wish to do so, as I said I was really enjoying myself on patrol.

However, one day while I was out at the gun range I was asked by the new Commander of the soon to be Narcotic Division to put in a letter of intent. I told him I was quite happy where I was and left it at that however, several more times he asked. On the deadline for submitting the letters I put my letter in. The only reason I did so was because I have much respect for the Commander, I did not foresee me getting selected for the position.

A couple days later I was informed that I had been selected along with the other officers that had been picked. So, just when I was getting ready to pull the bag off my head and let the blog world see the real me I was pushed back into the Narc World. So for now the bag stays on and the world of dirty, nasty dopers have been tossed into my lap once more.

My new partners will of course never replace the original crew, Jack, Mitch, Big Sexy, Brett, Cletus, The Mexican and the rest. I will miss working with the originals however, as the senior officer on the new squad I'm sure I can mold these guys.

A special thanks goes out to Jack, just for being Jack. It was good to see you the other day and anytime you need something just holla.

THE NARC IS BACK!

Blade Out